A Bittersweet Day

I am feeling guilty sitting in our apartment this rainy fall Atlanta day because I am enjoying total peace and quiet for the first time in over a year. Our birds John and Yoko have been adopted by someone else and went to live at their new home last night.

We brought them home from the pet store a little over a year ago, and we had a wonderful honeymoon phase, and then a decent post-honeymoon phase, and then I graduated and began spending many of my days at home seeking some rest and peace and quiet and sabbatical... John and Yoko were not very cooperative with that... When I was at school so much I never realized how talkative John and Yoko are all day long, but now though my schedule had changed drastically, their's had not.

The three of us tried to work it out throughout this summer, we experimented with a variety of solutions, but nothing seemed to work, so after much painful deliberation and guilt-filled angst (I wish I was joking, but sadly I really am that feeling) John and Yoko and I decided it would be best to find them a new home. I put some signs up at a few places and yesterday a young man who lives nearby named Ivan called to see if they really were free. He was so excited and called me a few times yesterday with questions and to see if he could come over earlier than we had originally arranged. His enthusiasm helped me feel better about sending them to live with someone else, though I was still sad to see them go, and feeling like I was abandoning them.

A few minutes before Ivan was supposed to arrive I went into the bedroom to say goodbye to John and Yoko and as soon as I began talking to them there was a knock at the front door - Ivan was early! So, we had to rush our goodbyes, but again, it was because Ivan was so excited to meet them.

So today I am enjoying the bittersweet quiet of no constant bird-chirping. I do not regret our decision - I am sure Ivan heaped much deserved attention on them last night and will again today when he returns from school - but it has also been over a year since the apartment has been this quiet during the day, so it will take me some getting used to. On a much, much smaller scale I am sure, I feel like a parent who has just sent their kids off to school for the first day, or to college for the first year; but a difference is that John and Yoko will not be returning. I am glad for all of us, I think they will be better off too, but still I am mourning their departure.

So, goodbye John and Yoko - I hope the two of you will be happy with Ivan. He promised to take good care of you. Get all your chirping out while he's at school and be good to him. I hope Trinity and I's recent Spanish studying will do you some good with Ivan and his family.

Adios y vayan con Dios.

Graduation weekend

After Graduation

I know it's been a long time since we have posted, so maybe no one even reads this anymore, but I wanted to make an official update on what I'm doing after graduation.

For the last few months or so I have tired of the question of what I am going to do after graduation. I don't really hold it against anyone for asking it in small talk, or for being genuinely curious either, but it still gets old saying the same thing over and over again. I guess if I had more of an "answer to be proud of" then it wouldn't be so bad. Instead of meeting what I percieve to be others' expectations though, my answer is kind of a let down. Do I have big plans after graduation, to further my climb up the church-politic-corporate-ladder by getting a real church position? (Since what I am doing now is "part-time," I guess it doesn't really count...) This is what it feels like people are asking me, whether they really are or not, but maybe it is my own insecurity... I guess this post is kind of an attempt for me to work through that insecurity.

Of course, this is not what I am planning to do after graduation, or ever for that matter. (And I do not mean to imply that I think this is what my fellow graduates who are seeking more traditional positions are doing!! Well, at least not all of them...) Usually my answer goes something like this [with the subtext that I feel like the questioner is thinking in brackets]:

I am just not in a hurry to go anywhere. I love DHBC, and I just don't feel like I am finished there yet. I feel like we as a church are doing great things that I want to continue to be a part of, and I (for better and for worse) have never looked upon this job as a short-term job or a stepping-stone position. Also, Trinity still has a couple of years before she is finished with school, so we plan to be in Atlanta at least that long. I am just not a short-term kind of guy, and I do not want to go somewhere and make a short-term commitment for that two-year or so period. [So, what am I doing after graduation? NOTHING. Yes, I am just a slacker who doesn't want to grow up and get a real job, so I am going to keep working part-time at the church and sit on my butt and watch TV for the other part!]

I am coming to terms somewhat with the stuff in brackets. I think that to some extent it is true. I do not want a real job, because I want to have free time. I cannot remember the last time I felt like I had enough free time to engage my creative side. So, I am intentionally building this in. Maybe I'll take piano lessons or guitar lessons. Maybe I'll write a book! I've even thought about eventually starting some kind of mini-business of my own, helping small churches with technology (websites and projectors and stuff) for a little extra income. Whatever I do will not be "grown up" and "responsible," and maybe won't even help pay the bills, but I know too many people that have sold their souls to pay the bills and I am not going to end up like that!

Trinity is starting full-time at her job after this spring semester (which is why she is going to take a little longer to finish school) so that will (hopefully) make up the slack of paying student loans and paying off the other little bit of debt that we have worked up while in school. We have always talked about making it work in the future with one full-time and one part-time salary so that one of us (preferably me) could be the stay-at-home parent for our kids. Even though we are NOT going to add kids to the equation anytime soon, we have decided to make the next year or two as much of a practice run at that as we can without the kid part!

So, what am I doing after graduation? I am going to keep my wonderfully frustrating part-time job at the church and be a househusband for the rest of the time. Rather than us fighting over who's turn it was to do the dishes or the laundry, these will become my responsibilties. (Trinity will still clean the litter box though - I HATE that job!) Trinity will work full time and take a couple of classes, and come home to a clean house and dinner on the table! If it were the other way around, no one would think twice about the validity of this plan, so we will be doing our part to challenge our sexist cultural norms. Who knows if this will work for us, or how long it will last, but we're going to experiment with it for a little while and see what happens.

(Of course, this might all change tomorrow if I get offered that high-paying powerful church job I just applied for, but we'll cross that bridge if we get to it!)